Ich liebe Dich ♥

brokenxtragedy @ 2005-01-01T23:07:00

2005-01-02T04:07:31Z

woot! entry on the old livejournal. i think so. its going to be a little rant called. "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS" :DDDD

alright. this is how it goes. i DO NOT use this livejournal anymore. i have made a new livejournal and look at that its friends only. so if you figure it out. good for you. you wont be reading it, cause you arent my friend. and for the person that has this link and enjoys TRYING to find out information on me, to fuckin bad. you wanna "find things out" about me and tell my parents, go right ahead. cause there isnt anything they dont already know. kthanks. and i would really appreicate it if you just left my life for good. cause i really do not like you. kay bi.

_marissa andrea

brokenxtragedy @ 2004-11-11T19:51:00

2004-11-12T00:51:25Z

i have a new livejournal!
IM me; ThLsSilenceKills
and ill give you it. kbye

ex.oh.♥.Mar.Mar

we do what we want; we don't do what we should.

2004-11-11T18:20:43Z

wow; so i havent wrote in here in over four months. what the fuck is wrong with me? hah WELL school started back in September, it was interesting to go back. i never know what to write in here. we are off today for veterans day! rock on \m/
well i woke up around 9:30 came downstairs dani wasnt answering me turn out shes sick :( [feel better lover] so i decided to go watch some tv and work on my retarted crafts project. went to go ask my mom when we were leaving for the mall [of course she forgot we were going today] so i watched tv until 12. OH MAN! jay-z and likin park have a cd. im sooo getting on that! excitement <3 and now im bored sitting here dress and ready to go and THEY ARE STILL doing yard work. [how lame]
i have to go up to huntington tonight between 6 and 8 to see katie and kenny :) kenny has to get a glimpse of my grades this quarter. [they are the shiz]

ex.oh.♥.Mar.Mar

brokenxtragedy @ 2004-08-18T15:23:00

2004-08-18T19:23:54Z

this is my farewell.<3

love you all. goodbye.<3

ps; leave comments and or call my cell<3

If the world would fall apart, in a fiction worthy wind....I wouldn't change a thing now that you're here.

2004-08-17T05:34:46Z

another fun day with amanda and jeana <3 yay

umm i leave for upstate on wednesday soooo this is the deal.. you will all call me AND or leave me comments like whoa. k thanks love you all and miss you all.<3

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ps; this was a lame useless entry =D

brokenxtragedy @ 2004-08-16T12:35:00

2004-08-16T16:35:56Z

I HAD MORE FUN THEN YOU LAST NIGHT :)

dont let this day get you down. it maybe the worst day of the year but fuck it, make it the best day.

2004-08-15T02:22:07Z

hmmmmmmm so today was fun. i had woken up around 9:30, looked at my phone and i had a missed call but i didnt know who it was so i rolled back over and at ten the SAME PERSON called me so i picked up, it was liz, i forgot what her new number was, because all my numbers were deleted in my phone, i dropped it and the battery fell out :( but i have most my numbers back, im doing good i remembered a lot of them.. ANYWAYS getting back to liz calling me at the horrible hour of ten am.. me and her had planed to go to lunch, but the call was to go to breakfast with her and marissa so i went downstairs asked the mom and she said yes so i ran upstairs and got ready military style it was awesome i ONLY took a half hour to get ready, lately its been an hour so thats GOOD.
anyways marissa and liz came to pick me up and off to country kitchen (FOOD LAND BITCHES) we went.. the food was good we talked about some good stuff. this was the first time i saw marissa all summer and the second time i saw liz, but it was good spending the day with them.. we ended up going back to marissas house and kevin called.. OH MANNNN hes so much fun. yay for kevin. we watched tv and what not it was ultra fun. but marissa had to be at work at 3 so we had to leave, my mom came to pick me up.
me and my mom drove over to her friends house to feed the cat and bring in the mail it was SO MUCH FUN yeah right it sucked...
we came home i messed around online for about a twenty minutes, and then i went upstairs to watch tv because no one was online and i had a headache like WHOA.. so i was laying down about to fall asleep and brandon called and goes "have you noticed how short the US womens volleyball shorts are" like he knew i was watching it, hes a fuckin genious i love it. haha we talked on the phone for about twenty minutes just joking around he was making fun of me haha thats not new, i can never come up with any come backs ANYONE HAVE ANY GOOD ONES? haha
we got off the phone and i went to sleep, i needed a nap i was tired and my head hurt.. i had rolled over onto my remote and it hurt so i had to remove it from my back and i turned off my tv and went back to sleep i woke up about 5:30 and my dad was home, so i said hi to him and i started setting up for dinner and we ate. it was yummy..
now its ten oclock, i didnt really do much from the time we finished dinner to know, i watched tv with my parents some detective show it was cool. i enjoyed calling all the shots. haha now im bored and no one is online and well i am going to go. adios

-mar mar

oh ps; tropical storm warning in effect for all of long island. this means MORE rain. jeez im so sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I faked a smile that crumbled under sunday morning's sky. Apologize 10,000 times for days run over forever in my mind.

2004-08-14T02:01:16Z

umm this morning, i dont really remember it... oooh wait cause i slept until twelve. haha im a loser. i pretty much just sat around on this rainy boring emo day. hah. about one oclock i had went upstairs to read some of my book. i read for about an hour. when i stopped step by step came on. it was pretty good. JT is so good to his sister al.. haha im a dork, sue me. SWITCHED CAME ON AT THREE<3 i started to watch knockfirst when i realized it was a repeat then i decided to go take a shower, clean a little in my room put all my clothes away and what not. i told you i basically did nothing...
i came downstairs about 4:30, bored as usually. came on the computer, talked to some people messed around on myspace for a while and then i went on yahoo talked in a chat with my insane rock chat friends. we are so silly we dont talk about music we talk about everything but. haha and we have one person play music its so fun. we suck we know :)
dinner was ready so i went to go eat with my mom, we had hamburgers they were soo good they were home-made <3 we watched HGTV and talked and then i cleaned up and i made pudding for dessert. it was yummy... after dinner and after i cleaned up, mom started to vacuum and then the phone kept ringing. i swear one day out of the week our phone rings off the hook. haha i didnt care i didnt want to listen to her talk so i started blasting music and talking to my friends.

anyways.
MYSPACE IS GOD! i got a new friend hes so awesome. his name is Shawn. we have so much in common and the coolest thing is we live in the same town \m/ -- me and him talked for i dont know i guess 2 hours maybe longer. it was so cool. we talked about when he graduated and prom and everything. things friends are suppose to talk about.. i love new friends <3 and well friends are what i could use right now.. hes so sweet too we were talking about my friend and how i havent been myself lately because of her being sick and i told him we had to change the subject cause i was going to cry and hes like "its okay i dont want you to cry"
yeah so i read kimmys journal and i got all scared. i was looking behind me and im like oh shit its gonna get me. i was like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh haha im a loser :) and all her journal says is:

"lock your doors.

dont answer the phone.

dont look behind you....

dont let it get you. "

i dont know im weird and i was in the middle of a good conversation when i read it, and im likke ahhhh what if my phone rings and she goes "dont pick it up" haha kim. its okay it isnt youre fault!!!

yeah well i cant really say the real reason why im so aggravated and PISSED THE FUCK OFF. cause 'someone' might tell my mom. well actually no i can say it. i hate when people that arent friends read this cause ya know its KINDA personal, hense why i dont let the link to it just float around to people. cause i dont only write about my day i write personal things in here and it really isnt any of your business, i have my friends read it because they understand caudse they know what is going on right now and why im upset and i dont need people reading it and telling my mom anything.. k thanks so mind your business.. >:o
NOW I KNOW WHY I LIKED MY JOURNAL AS FRIENDS ONLY

ps; it means "i love you" okay =O

danielle elizabeth powney rocks my socks<3

LIZ TOMORROW IS GOING TO BE INSANEEEEEEEEEE =D

burn yer wishes: Maybe he can lick my asshole?

2004-08-12T01:11:32Z

this is my song right now. it explains EVERYTHING!

Can't you see that I wanna be
there with open arms
It's empty tonight and I'm all alone
Get me through this one
Do you notice I'm gone?
Where do you run to so far away?

I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so

I'm writing again
These letters to you not much I know
But I'm not sleepin, you're not here
The thought stops my heart
Do you notice I'm gone?
Where do you run to so far away?

I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so

No more looking I've found home

I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so

I'm gone away...
I'm gone away...

do you even care????????
why do i feel like your gone?????
:(

brokenxtragedy @ 2004-08-11T20:30:00

2004-08-12T00:30:05Z

why do i feel like you replaced me with your old friends again.. i really dont feel like your best friend anymore... maybe its just me. but i feel like you never want to talk anymore. =/ i really hate how i cant talk about him with you cause you dont like him. and how you ALWAYS change the subject when i bring him up. jeez i need to get out more and stop worrying. but when this is how i feel its how i feel no way around it, and you dont even read this so i dont know why im writing about it. oh i remember because im lame and have no life. kthanks bye

brokenxtragedy @ 2004-08-11T13:50:00

2004-08-11T17:50:43Z

homeroom -- 242
1st (fall) -- environ. sci -- 119
1st (spring) -- mammalogy -- 231
2nd (call) -- crafts 1 -- 140
2nd (spring) -- women in lit -- 269
3rd (fall) -- prin. economics -- 123
3rd (spring) -- drawing & painting 2 -- 139
4th (fall) -- modern lit -- 160
4th (spring) -- part in govt -- 181
5th (fall) -- child psych -- 123
5th (spring) -- crafts 2 -- 139
6th (fall/spring) -- LUNCH
7th (b day -- YEAR) guidance intern
7th (a day - YEAR) gym -- west
8th (year) college prep alg 2 -- 370

trying to get out of college prep... maybe business math? if not another intern I GUESS!
anyone have the same classes?

The closest thing to perfect, But the farthest thing from me.

2004-08-11T02:53:34Z

awesome.
i have a friend that cant even keep a promise. i really hope she doesnt get hurt. :( i really cant loose her. shes like all i have, even though she lives so far away. and yeah id change that if i could but i cant so yeah.
i have so many thoughts flying around in my head right now. the nightmares are back. i talk about them hoping they go away. the reoccurring one did (for now) which is a good thing but now i have this new one and he found it funny which makes everything okay. i mean he finds the nightmares that i wake up in the middle of the crying from FUNNY. haha yeah no, i dont find the humor.
so school starts in a month im so stoked. i cant wait to go back see all my friends again. woot woot. not looking forward to seeing him but hey its life, we go to the same school, gotta get over him some how right. yea i guess soo.
umm yeah back to my friend. im so sad. i hope she knows what shes doing. and i hope she knows im just looking out for her and i dont want her to get hurt/sick. i love you friend<3

exoh.
mar mar

pee es; i hope the friend i am talking about reads this. my luck she wont.. =/

id love to be, the shoulder that you cry on. id love to be, the friend you call when things are great.

Auto response from burn yer wishes: Broken cock & Frozen condoms. Get at me..

2004-08-09T21:35:40Z

well yesterday was tons of fun. woke up about 11. kim called me at 1130, ran upstairs showered and chnaged and what not and argued with my mom for about a half hour about letting me go out with kim. she figured what i was telling her was a lie. and seeing she didnt tell me if i could go or not go i sat on my ass for 15 minutes then i asked her AGAIN and she said "i never said you couldnt go, i figured you were just waiting for kim to come and get you" mean while kim was sitting outside my house of a fuckin half hour. ANYWAYS getting back to the fun stuff. kim and i drove out to her place of work in bayshore. those houses out there are huge, jeez the time i wish i had my camera to take pictures OMG. okay okay we got to our destination and i started to help kim water the flowers, this lady has more flowers then a fuckin floral shop, LMFAO after that we drove back to P-town and grabbed a slice of pizza at Ginos and talked for a bit, decided we were going to go the beach. on our journey to my house/her house to get our shizzle together scott called. they were taking a family trip to the beach so we joined them. we got out there about umm 230 (maybe a little later than that) id say. we had mucho fun. kim and scott went off surfing and what not. i layed on the sand for a bit and then went swimming with kim and mark and robin and i forgot the other girls name... so we left. changed in kims, haha back seat peep show ;)
decided we were gonna stop by her dads house he wasnt home (he was at some party) but kims car was making this insane noise turned out she needed to put some oil in it. as she was doing it we were making fun of girls that dont even know how to pump there own gas and when they open the hood they dont know wtf to look for. LMFAO
so after that we hoped back into the car called angela but she was at work. SO we decided to drive over to her job and sit in the parking lot. we skated, amanda came to keep us company. haha angela got out of work and we were driving down main street throwing wheat thins at amandas car behind us. much fun much fun<3
after that we came back to my house because i needed to check in. it was about 8 oclock now my mom wanted me home at 10. ON A SUNDAY IN THE SUMMER. so i said fine. we went to angelas and had dinner. i met her parents and her brother dom. and we just hung out and i called my mom about 10 and asked if i could stay to at least 12 and she had to talk to my dad about it but i had to come home because my computer was being a LAME ASS and i had to fix it. mom and dad said i could go back to angelas house so we went back there and hung out watched tv, went on the computer took pictures drew on each other.(we are silly kids with ADD what do you want from us)
so i got home a little after 12 everyone was sleeping so it was okay. i started to upload pictures and i was resizing them and i sent to them to kim. and a coupe of myself to a friend. and then i had a long talk with anthony. it was a rough conversation btu everything he said was right. and im glad i have him as a friend <3
Brandon had IMed me about 145 and said "your up late" yeah i was i couldnt sleep had to much on my mind. had a lot going on from what anthony said he really got me thinking. that kid has his ways i swear. haha so brandon said he'd call in 20 minutes. which he did (claps) we got off the phone about 20 to three. and i just layed there i fell alseep and had a crazy nightmare. i didnt like it. i layed in my bed for a bout an hour and i guess i fell back asleep becaus ei had another ngihtmare totally different from the first this one is a reoccurring one i have it everynight. (im literally scared to sleep because of it) it went away for about 3 weeks and now its back. all of a sudden, i dont know why. i woke up form that one about 730 and thats when i opened my blinds and turned my AC on high and i was fine i ended up waking up at 10:20 when danielle texted me "meow." lmfao. and i just layed in bed until 11.

havent really done anything all day. watched some tv. took a nap. made plans for the beach thursday and friday. (HOPEFULLY THE WEATHER IS NICE) ended up i cant go thursday im going to a party at my aunts house <3 (DANIELLE IS PARTY LITE <3) havent seen my aunt in a while it should be fun, i hope ill get to see my cousins doubt it those college kids are never home nowadays haha...
so i think im leaving in nine days im not sure i havent talked to my grandma lately. i hope she calls soona dn doesnt forget buttttt right now i have to go because i have to start setting the table and what not so im ALLOWED to go to the beach on friday..

exoh.
mar mar

i held out my hand
...and you walked away

♥

"no easy answers for the way things go...and if the pain doesnt kill us, it will only make us grow"

2004-08-07T18:42:21Z

i dont know why i EVER called you my friends. you dont even give a shit. im so glad i dont have to see you fuckers every again. >:o
im so sick of all your shit. you havent talked to me in GOD KNOWS HOW FUCKIN LONG and now you have the right to chim in with your thoughts. no fuck that shit. i dont want you advice, no i dont need your advice. i have friends that give me plenty of advice and id otn give a shit if they live in other states cause ya know what they mean more to me than anything in the world and you will never begin to understand how much i love them, and at least i know i have them and i now they listen to me when im upset not just say "there are people out there with problems worse then yours' yeah no shit i know they do but am i them NO IM FUCKIN ME god damn it. im me no one else and im fed the fuck up.
you dont have a clue what has happened in the past months. and if you even gave a shit you would want to sit down and talk to me about them but i dont you dont so there is no point fuckin explaining it to you. thats it im done. goodbye..

oh and you can think its you all you want but its not. and you can ask me all you want i wont tell you. the real people know who the fuck they are.

oh and ps.

I LOVE DANIELLE ELIZABETH POWNEY MORE THAN ANYTHING IN LIFE<3

brokenxtragedy @ 2004-08-07T12:46:00

2004-08-07T16:46:50Z

its happening again :(

this is our party, we pick the records, we set the dresscode & we make love on the dance floor. like it or not we're the only game in town

2004-08-07T03:29:21Z

okay okay. today was A LOT of fun. first time in a LONG time

i woke up around like eleven. came downstairs, took my morning piss, and then said hi and good morning to my mom. and then of course went inside and sat on my ass and turned on channel 39 (TBS) to watch dawsons creek (my favorite show to watch during the summer) i missed the ten oclock show so if anyone saw it please leave a comment and explain what happened. i saw the last like five minutes and was like HOLY SHIT what happened. anyways the eleven oclock dawson came on. i cried of course it was sad :(
after that was over i came on the computer talked to my fellow marissa (3SOME) about what we are gong to do today. went upstairs and showered and got all ready. i dressed all hot sex like and did my make up all pretty i really do look like a 17 year old girl when i do all that fun stuff.
well while i was at the library standing on line, this chick and her daughter were standing behind me and the little girl goes "wow mommy her skirt is really short" and of course the bitch that i am i turned around and gave them both a dirty look and then i was called to renew my books. heh

well I went to my fellow marissas house (3SOME) around like 130. i walked there, im surprised no mexicans beeped at me seeing there was so many out today. i saw my neighbor he said hi all sexual hes a rapest LMFAO. and then I saw my long time old friend rachael is was nice to see here. Then I ended up at marissas house we watched the care bear movie OMG it was so much fun. OH MY STARS! thats my new saying haha, im so lame. before we started the movie I was reading her brothers book ?my three cats? and i read 'my cats throw up a lot' and then the cat throw up. *freaky* haha --- the care bear movie is so funny. hahahaha heres a BIG list of things me and marissa found funny while watching the movie with some other things thrown in

- i have a tree that plays with myself.
- OH MY STARS!
- everything is STARS (have you ever noticed)
- nick OOOOOOO las
- OMG LIKE HOME IS IN YOUR HEART!
- nicholas was under this crazy spell from this EVIL book thing.
- rainbow bridges how insane?
- zeebo, zip zoo ba.
- the evil face really has to brush her teeth they are mad yellow in the face
- star ships with clouds how awesome
- hold fingers to head and sticks out tounge *makes funny noise*
- the great fetachinii (isnt that a noodle??)
- if i close my eyes they wont see me.
- so much DRAM!
- the bears totally looked liker they were doing it in the cloud mobile
- the pink elephant in the care bear movie reminded me of the commerical 'strach an elephant' from the NYS lotto
- ichy sticky bubble gum
- snorkal razzles
- care bear stare
- the old chick as side burns
- kim and jason and secert bare and frined bear got lost between carelot and earth at this little place we call the foirestr of feelings. there was this cute little monkey i want him so much he has the cutest little laugh in the ENTIRE world.
- now really everyone tell me where carealot is.. is it above heaven or under hell? if it was under hell it would be really hot and there would be no clouds. but if its above heaven the clouds would make more sence. but it was all clouds and sucha and THEN there was insane water lakes and stuff what is that about
- CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!

haha i had sucha a blast today as marissas house. her brothers friend says 'ogay' i thought it was the funniest thing ever. we got locke dout of the house when the UPS guy came and dropped off a package it was a frantic moment.. ahah and then the best part was sitting on the computer marissa was standing on the table and goes 'i like standing on the table and moving the fan because its the loser thing to do. oh and it rains dust' and when she goes "omg im like a 12 year old with boobs. LMFAO... good time good times <3

wow that was only about my day now i have to get started on my evening. me and marissa went to alive after five we walked around and hung out with a bunch of people (pretty much the entire night in a nut shell) i saw a candle that was called "smell my nuts" i cracked up. it was eight bucks i only had 4 i couldnt buy it. oh well i bought 15 bucks on a bunch of other stuff on a good cause.. my danielle <3 i thought about her a lot tonight i was like awwww she'd love it and then i bought it. god i love that girl. i dont know wher eid be without her. ANYWAYS getting back on the subject of tonight. i saw soooooooooooooooooooo many people from school. i saw chris. first time since school ended i was happy to see him and to talk to him for the matter. i saw kim, and liz, and kimdew, and ummm paige, and so many other people omg i cant even begin to name them all.
all and all tonight and today was mucho fun. i enjoyed myself so much. i love seeing all my friends (well the ones i have) i still wish they where here. well at least him sigh. haha i had fun today....

THANK YOU MARISSA FOR A GREAT DAY!!!<3

dreams may be shattered, hearts might be broken, but all and all this shit dont mean nothing.

2004-08-05T20:54:03Z

kim stopped by a little while ago. we stood outside and talked for a little. just like old times yeah we use to do that a lot last summer. it was fun. havent heard from her in about two weeks, havent seen her in about...oh i dont know maybe a month?!? so it was good to see her again.
anyways tomorrow is alive after five i dont know if im going to go. i might if someone asks me to go with them but who knows if anyone will. no one has been asking to do much with me lately. 'go figure' my library books are due back tomorrow. i still have a book and a half to read. not going to happen. no way. no how. so im either going to go get them renewed or just pay the late fee. seeing im low in the money pool, ill just go renew them.

anyways. i do not know why i do this to myself. i read the same journal entry at least once a day and all i do is cry. just thinking about it makes me cry. actually come to think about it reading his entire journal makes me cry. and everytime i want to bring something up about it i literally change the subject. i cant even bare to think about it because it hurts so much. and i dont want to bring it up to him because im afraid im going to hurt him. and well ive done a lot of that already and im trying not to fuck up anymore. seeing thats mainly what ive been doing with me and his relationship. i just wish i could sit down with him and let out how i feel tell him my feelings why im sorry and just talk about his past, and my past. there is so much he has no idea about me that i want to share and i cant. and its the same for him. reading his journal tears me apart.. so why do i do it? i dont know just gives me something to read while i hurt myself, no big deal im use to it by now i just wish me and him could share the pain together.

so YOU if you happen to read this please IM me and or call me. i really would like to talk about it.

it isnt suppose to hurt like this

brokenxtragedy @ 2004-08-04T18:11:00

2004-08-04T22:11:30Z

yeah so this is my summer. its august 4th. havent been to the beach once. this time last year i was at the beach like every other day. ive basically hung out with fourpeople all summer. amanda, kim, marissa (3SOME) and kir. kim was basically in the begining of the summer like when i got home from upstate after forth of july weekend. me and marissa hung out once or twice, and amanda and myself hung out with jeana and did some other stuff. kir and me hung out at some alive after fives, went to dinner and watched movies at my place. i really just dont know anymore. am i losing my friends? am i really running from everyone? i dont know but i dont like this. i miss my friends so much. next year is suppose to be the best summer of my life. the last summer before college! what am i suppose to do? are my friends going to start hanging out with me? ask me to do things? ask me to go to the beach? should i spend it upstate? go to buffalo? maybe even canada? danielle moves at the end of this year... is my summer going to be spent in england with her? my life is based on questions right now. its scaring me so much right now. i have so much on my mind right now that doesnt even involve school. last year i was so worried about being a junior and this year i dont even give a shit about being a senior. i just want to have fun while im still a teenager but having no friends really isnt helping. having fun i mean is that to much to ask?
like i said i miss my friends so much, but do they miss me? do they even know im not around? do they even care? why do i feel like this? why am i so worried? do they care if im okay? do they see i need help? why is everything a question in my life. i just wish everything would just straighten out and go back to normal. and hopefully it will happen fast.
so moms on the phone with grandma making plans of shipping me upstate for about two weeks. im suppose to be going back up the 17th of august, to be up there for the 21st (reunion with my non family) my mom said something about me going up with them and then my parents coming up to get me labor day weekend. that would make me upstate for three weeks and then coming home just in time for school. maybe it will change. HOPEFULLY it will. i dont want to be up there for three weeks. as much as i love it up there i hate it. its fun when mikey, ross and katie are up there because we are up all night being our crazy selves, but it sucks when they arent because im forced to stay in and wash dishes or something. i dont know i could always make it fun. i could read, go shopping, plant flowers SOMETHING more exciting then washing dishes.
so yeah i just asked two people what they were doing tonight thinking MAYBE i might have had a slim chance to leave my house, but of course that was to good to be true. the one said she'd love to but she has to be up early for work. which i mean i totally understand you are a working person you are making money so you can go out and have fun with your friends. its okay i totally understand that you have to get up dont worry about it, ill be fine i mean i like SITTING home its the highlight of my life. and the other girl said she'd love to hang out with me but she is having spending quality time with her best friend. i mean id love to spend quality time with my best friend to bad she lives in california and is sick and i cant do anything about it but sit back and watch. hardly talk to her anymore just sit around and pray everything is okay. but yeah ill be fine have fun hanging out with your friends. i can find something fun and exciting to do at my house. who knows maybe ill kick back and read my book, write letters to people, clean a bit maybe do some laundry.. dont worry about me ill find something to do. have fun with your friends... its good to go out and have fun. (keep that in mind)

i have gotten to the point in life where i have forgotten how it feels to have fun

brokenxtragedy @ 2004-08-04T10:18:00

2004-08-04T14:18:17Z

Dear Journal,

My weekend was okay. I had went upstate Saturday morning. I was suppose to surprise a couple of friends, yeah they werent there, SOOO basically. I drove 250 miles upstate to see people that werent even there. While I was there I didnt do much, sat around, slept, ate food, walked A LOT, saw my cousins, read some of my book (have to finish soon) I called my bestestest friend in the entire world a lot though. I miss her bunches. I had called and left her two voicemails I was quiet upset on the phone, because I truly dont know if she knows how much I care about her.. I sent her letters also, I hope she gets them soon.. That is all for now I think. Goodbye<3

Signed..
Marissa

brokenxtragedy @ 2004-07-30T21:41:00

2004-07-31T01:41:02Z

this is my farewell

ill be gone before dawn.

love you all..goodbye<3

yah.

2004-07-30T21:13:06Z

im back....new layout..drop a comment on what you think....
anyways, there has been way to much to write about in the past months, i dont even think fifteen entries would be able to cover it. umm i miss danielle a hella amount. my plans for the summer were squashed so i hadda totally refigure everything. basically ive done nothing and im happy about it. hey i got social problems go figure. ive been keeping busy this summer though, reading and making stuff. amanda has been getting me out of the house lately, im actaully happy about it, i missed what it felt like to go out and have fun with friends that care. well i am going to go. time to write a letter to danielle. i really miss her and i hope shes okay :(

exoh.
mar mar

missing you is the hardest thing ive ever had to do.

2004-07-30T04:06:19Z

i miss you danielle :(

brokenxtragedy @ 2004-07-29T23:55:00

2004-07-30T04:02:42Z

well, im back...

i have lost touch with MOST of my friends.
i have not talk to danielle in over 2 months (on the phone).
i have started hanging out with a new friend.
i have no job. (still)
i have been going through hard times.
i have a phone that is a piece of shit.
i have five friends. (last time i counted).
i have lost touch with a great kid.
i have not talked to my brother in a month.
i have not told my mom anything in the last five months.
i have been hiding from my problems.
i have cried atleast three times a day.
i have a lot of people in my life that dont care. or understand.
i have two great best friends
i have been very stressed lately.
i have also been extremely depressed lately.
i have a computer that us very jewish.
i have come to the conclusion that i am slowly ruining my life.
i have actaully started to miss my friends
i have a phone that no one calls.
i have a headache &a sprained wrist.

yeah.
that is all. goodbye.

brokenxtragedy @ 2004-03-23T15:14:00

2004-03-23T20:14:23Z

x.your.gun.my.heart.x

brokenxtragedy @ 2004-02-22T12:17:00

2004-02-22T17:19:07Z

burn yer wishes: dude you like boys, are you gay er what

im guilty of liking boys. so im gay :(